Pope Francis Appoints Secular Cardinal As Ethics Adviser to Vatican in Wake of Sex Claims.

In a short statement released today, Cardinal Silvio said he would be having a large and  informal gathering regarding this issue for the Church at a spectacular villa in Tuscany this weekend.
"As many of my friends will know, I have an aversion to Tuscany due to my long standing battle with Terra Cotta Nervosa, but I believe the work of the Church in uncovering these immoral sex crimes must be pursued with passion and vigour. There will be no hiding place. Everyone involved will be uncovered."