after yesterday's gruelling job interview rehashing old clinical events i tend to think that maybe my occasional profound social phobia may not in fact be due to an old PTSD witnessed trauma event when 9 but rather due to all the stuff that happened over that working lifetime caring for others. The social phobia has always pretty well related to not wanting to go to work...ah! understandable. A little insight, wow, after all these years. Whilst acknowledging the traumas one goes through when young is important, the ones that come later on can be pretty awful too. Cool. Insight. Anyway, off to a night shift soon. Damn. Maturity does not arise because of the years, it arises because of the damage.