I think that in the great scheme of things, as you get older, you start to like yourself more. No one else has to. You just end up being yourself as best you can be yourself. This is one of the very satisfying things about not knocking oneself off at 18...although, if you really want to, of course you can, no harm done. It isn't a race. The rest of the life-demands on the individual, be they physical, mental or spiritual, are simply someone else's demands of us, and as usual, always advertising for some kind of profit to them. Find your own way. That's the only way. Don't worry about Meaning, it comes and goes, like the breeze. You mean as much, if not more, than anyone who has ever ever lived. That comes with you being you. It is granted in that brief light and warmth of mortal conception. You belong.