January Meeting between Mr Putin and Mr Xie.
Putin:
"I'm going to take Ukraine. I have to. They won't pay their gas bill."
Xie:
"Oh, Duh! It's pretty obvious you guys are on the move. Look Vlad, can you do it after the Winter Olympics?"
Putin:
"Sure, but it has to be February, or the Thaw slows everything down. Too muddy then. Awful trudging."
Xie:
"Can you hold off til, say, have you got a calendar, ah, let's see...can you not invade before Wednesday the 23rd?"
Putin: "The 23rd it is. Early AM. Shock and Awe. Ukraine time."
Xie: "As needs be. I bet you're shittin' your pants worried about Australia's response."
Putin: "Who? Hahahahaha. Oh, yeah, the Fat Lobster People."
Xie: "How long do you think it'll take?"
Putin: "Oh, about 3 days, I reckon."
Xie: "What then?"
Putin: "Pax Russia. Peace in our time, for a long time. I'll go horse riding. It's what I do."
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