GRIEF and FEAR are fascinating activators of human behaviour. When I got my 2 deadly prognoses of heart disease and cancer, after working in palliative care for many decades, I just took off, refused all treatments at age 50, spent money, saw the world for years, fell in love, found a family, and did things I never ever would have done without this impetus. Then, I just didn't die... I'm still standing. I have great respect for grief and fear and, because of them, I still lead an unexpected and remarkably meaningful life...and I have yet to be irradiated or operated on, 15 years later.