Restaurant Review: Kew, Melbourne, The Grill on the Hill
The Difficulty with Reviewing The Grill on the Hill at Kew is that it is both very good and also very horrible.
The food is brilliant and yet the cost is ridiculous.
The 20 or so page extensive wine list made for interesting reading of just how many bottles of wine there are between hundred dollars a bottle and eight hundred dollars a bottle, and that was fun...passing it back to the waiter saying "we don't usually drink at all, so just a glass of your house red."
The response: "Two glasses sir?"
"No, just the one."
"Oh, well, I will see what i can find..."
[Image of him going out to the alley and beating up some old bloke and stealing his flagon of plonk...]
...but the house red was okay.
Altogether, the cost/benefit equation just didn't work at the Grill on the Hill. There was an all pervasive sense of the narcissistic anally retentive menace that people oddly call professionalism these days, but, in fact, it wasn't professional, just rather overall menacing with an obvious and hard $ profit/person equation being the only standard the place has.
Two simple entrees, 2 simple meals, and very good food it was, to be sure...some free bread, one glass of house red, two glasses of tap water, and the cost was AU$175. Great food, indeed, and yet, at an dreadful overall cost.
The waitress was kind enough to point out to me that I could add a tip to my credit card bill. I thanked her for so clearly pointing this out to me but said that it wouldn't be necessary.
On the way out the bullish manager was there at the door intent on shaking my hand, but I refused fearing I might lose my watch.
Would I go again? Absolutely not.
On the Fitzpatrick World Food=Value Fine Dining Equation Graph, where A McDonalds Cheese Burger scores zero out of a possible 5 stars, as the base standard....The Grill on The Hill, whilst having great food indeed, scores a minus 4.
I was particularly fascinated by the rampant generosity in the amount of the complimentary bread in the 4th picture.
SCORE: THE GRILL ON THE HILL: MINUS 4
🍽️🍽️🍽️
The food is brilliant and yet the cost is ridiculous.
The 20 or so page extensive wine list made for interesting reading of just how many bottles of wine there are between hundred dollars a bottle and eight hundred dollars a bottle, and that was fun...passing it back to the waiter saying "we don't usually drink at all, so just a glass of your house red."
The response: "Two glasses sir?"
"No, just the one."
"Oh, well, I will see what i can find..."
[Image of him going out to the alley and beating up some old bloke and stealing his flagon of plonk...]
...but the house red was okay.
Altogether, the cost/benefit equation just didn't work at the Grill on the Hill. There was an all pervasive sense of the narcissistic anally retentive menace that people oddly call professionalism these days, but, in fact, it wasn't professional, just rather overall menacing with an obvious and hard $ profit/person equation being the only standard the place has.
Two simple entrees, 2 simple meals, and very good food it was, to be sure...some free bread, one glass of house red, two glasses of tap water, and the cost was AU$175. Great food, indeed, and yet, at an dreadful overall cost.
The waitress was kind enough to point out to me that I could add a tip to my credit card bill. I thanked her for so clearly pointing this out to me but said that it wouldn't be necessary.
On the way out the bullish manager was there at the door intent on shaking my hand, but I refused fearing I might lose my watch.
Would I go again? Absolutely not.
On the Fitzpatrick World Food=Value Fine Dining Equation Graph, where A McDonalds Cheese Burger scores zero out of a possible 5 stars, as the base standard....The Grill on The Hill, whilst having great food indeed, scores a minus 4.
I was particularly fascinated by the rampant generosity in the amount of the complimentary bread in the 4th picture.
SCORE: THE GRILL ON THE HILL: MINUS 4
🍽️🍽️🍽️
