Darkness

darkness in the sky

and darkness in the eye

the orbs define themselves

and make of this the lies

but you and i

we make our own content

in mosque or mansion or our tent

driven not by what is said

but made of comfort in our bed

of right and wrong

who gives a fuck

of life's rewards

we have our truck

and so we rest from day to day

the jokers think we enjoy the pay

but we will ruin them

day by day by day

The Nothing Poem

nothing on the tv

and nothing on the mind

nothing much to fear

and nothing much to find

I keep a monthly diary/calendar thing to remind me of things I need and want to do. It's basically, each year, a bought thing...it puts out the month on a double A4 page with the days and dates etc. It is usually full of tasks and jobs and dates etc... I noticed today that the days between the 14th and 30th of January this year were totally blank of my usual scrawling writing because of this recent depression. I expect that if I looked back through enough journals then I would see blanks for maybe 25% of my living life, but that doesn't mean anything really negative...that's just those periods of incorporation and transition necessary for me to grow, as me...and to be, as me. we are all different, and that's a good thing. Often people will presume that if there is something wrong with you, that there is something with you, but this really isn't the case if you need to be you and find your satisfactions and equally your dissatisfactions, in being you. No one else can be you. You own yourself. As for my diary/journal...did I miss the period between the 14th and the 30th of January? No. I just had much more important business elsewhere.

The thing about depression caused by past trauma is this: it is something foistered upon us, for sure, as all experience is, whether we seek out experience, or not. Good and bad experiences just roll in. But it is different to watching Star Trek and being really upset when Spock died...and having to wait until the next movie when he comes back. What we do to deal with an awful event, deep down, is to personalise it, to make it part of us, part of our fabric, our tapestry, as it is real...to survive it... as we can't effectively deny it. So, this black dog of depression brought about by experience, is indeed part of us and it is best to respect it as part of our wholeness. Periods of depression are not a black gap in life, but simply a way of progressing through life as we grow larger through...experience of life. Some experiences are really horrible the same as some are really wondrous. We don't have experts treating us for Too Much Joy...but depression is much the same thing, just the other side of it. Wise folk will say that every coin has 2 sides, and that is true to some extent. ..but there are maybe 5 or 6 more sides to it all that current wisdom doesn't know about yet, and never will.

Poem: Love Poem

Love Poem

In gracious green
the last resort
the stars between the leaves were caught
faceless lovers on rolling grass
found love within the roiling task
and pulled down stars
to make a mask.

New Album in preparation/ Box Cutter Johnny & The Roiling Gerunds: Cutting Loose on Tremelo Bridge

Liner Notes for Album Cut Loose on Tremelo Bridge...'The album started as a Concept Album about Concept Albums...and initially I had trouble getting the raw, loud, electric sound I wanted out of the Fender Stratocastor, but then my agent suggested that it would be good to have an electrical lead going from the guitar to the amp, and since then, there's been a marked improvement.
The album moves progressively through all forms of world music, both Country, and Western, with an emphasis on White Blues played in a Swamp.

I don't think Trump is likely to be assassinated. Obama was a far more hated figure to most folk who owned guns (and bibles) in the US and Obama got through 8 years unscathed. I expected Trump will do so too. And if one did knock off Trump, you'd have Pence as President a straight down the line ambitious bright Christian Republican, and who wants that? That's worse. Give Trump his 4 or 8 elected years I'd say. people did vote for him because most hated the way things were, that's true. So let's see if things improve. Principles of democracy in action.