True Story. An elderly couple with some dementia lived in a residential estate for folk of their ilk in Townsville, Queensland. They had their old car in their garage and lived a usual life. One day, they were gone. 3 days later they turned up in a small North Queensland town, 300 miles away, had driven up there, and stopped outside a small house in that town. The husband and wife got out and went up to the front door and just walked in, much to the surprise of the young family who lived there. The couple demanded that the family get out of their house. Various services were called in, and it was explained to the couple that, at the moment, the family had no other abode...so the couple let them stay for a few days. Then an aged care nurse and driver were flown up to the town and told the couple that they had a doctor's appointment 'down the road' so, the couple went with them, they drove all the way back to Townsville in the couple's old car, and were put back in their home, and the car was put back in the garage.

Tale from the Holy Land:A man and woman were on a tour of the Holy Land and set off on a walking trek, with guides, and donkeys carrying provisions, up Mt Ararat. All the way the woman was complaining about her sore feet. They got to the summit and the woman was still complaining about her sore feet and so the man went and talked to the guides about what could be done to ease his partner's pain for the journey back down the mountain. He discussed and worked out a good solution. He returned to his partner who was still complaining about her sore feet and was dreading the descent. on and on she went about her complaint and sore feet. He said to her, "Hey, instead of complaining, why don't you just go down on a donkey?" She never spoke to him again.

The wise astronomer/philosopher said to me "I believe we are all, in our own way, stars, all constellations, all galaxies, in the greater reality of the Real Universe." I said "You can't be Sirius!"

One of my old neighbours died last night. He used to play the piano. His funeral service will be low key. I worked for many years on the construction of the Sydney Harbour Bridge. It was riveting. My pal just back from a trip on the famous train journey, the Orient Express. He said it was murder.

I've opted out of the australian national health database mostly because I don't like or believe half of the doctors I've seen and only follow about a third of any advice, if that. I still check my blood pressure once a year, unless I'm really profoundly stressed, and weigh myself once a year, unless I've eaten a lot during the previous 12 months. So far so good. The Ute is going well. Gosh that's a good truck, that Nissan D22. Three years old and still pretty well new...or as new as a kind of Jurassic type vehicle can be.It even has a big garage now to swan around in here. The tray is still full of flattened boxes from the house move and I get rid of a few a week here and there. The townhouse we are inhabiting is better, to me, than the house we lived in, just because the townhouse isnt on the 'convenient' main city tram tracks ...so, it is much quieter, especially at 5am. Also there must be a massive amount of insulation in the roof and even walls because we hear nothing from the neighbours, no screams, no murders etc and usually have to wait for the police to turn up to know that someone has been slain or mutilated in one of the adjoining residences. Melbourne remains a remarkably unfriendly place without any redeeming social value at all, but we are here, so this makes it a better place.

My Advice to My Children: Look, you are adults now. You don't get any money from me. Make your own fortunes, quickly. I am spending the small modicum of money I have on my creativity and travels and basically reckless philosophical living, rather than spending it on yours. Should I become rich through my odd activities, then there will be a lot for you, if I don't then there will be nothing for you but a warm memory of me as a kind man and a good father figure who didn't hit you, who just loved your company as you grew beyond me, finer and wiser as you are. Don't lose faith in my creativity. After all, I made YOU. Mind you, I haven't heard from them for years. They are free of me.

First Draft of Mission Impossible screenplay.... "You're Mission, Mr Phelps, should you decide to accept it..." "You can stop right there, because I don't want to know anything about it, and I don't accept it." "Oh, okay."