Australian Senator Corey Bernardi Announces New Conservative Political Party...promises to out-Weiner Weiner

Latest Poll Results: Bill Shorten FITZNEWS@4

NEWSFITZ 2&3 Jerry Hall, Hash for Cleric

In an effort to balance the current World Media Lies and Fake News I've decided to launch my own on-line News Service: NEWSFITZ...or...Real World News: FITZNEWS@4

I see that our brilliant Australian Prime Minister, Malcolm Turnbull, , following on from the 'success' of his plan to ship 2000 Iraqi refugees to the US (oh, yes, it's all still going to happen...) has suggested to China that THEY should take the place of the USA in the planned Trans Pacific Partnership, a quasi American military solution in the guise of a trading agreement, the purpose of which was to nobble China's trade... I can imagine China's response: "So you want us to take over the lead role in destroying our own trade routes in Asia, is that right?" Malcolm: "Well, yes, but but but not on the surface, of course..." China: "Our under sea trade routes in Asia?" Malcolm: "Well, sure, we could start there..."

I recall that just a few years ago you could only rely on established newspapers and broadcasters to supply a diet of fake news, but now anyone can do it

EMERGENCY Cat Summit. I've lined up my Chinese Lucky Good Fortune Cats and given them Motivational Lecture and an ultimatum..."Now, look, I appreciate your work in the past but just lately there seems to be a significant slacking off in terms of bringing in Fortune to the household and this upsets me. I know you have had to make adjustments in this new climate, etc...but I expect more from you. I know you can do better. As an incentive, I can guarantee that should Fortune Input increase in the next 2 weeks, then those of you who need AA batteries to keep performing the waving-hand thing, well, you will get not only new batteries, but good batteries. Now, I'm not talking 'fancy alkaline' batteries, at this stage, but Good batteries none the less. Nothing from the Reject Shop. So, get to it. Let's have another meeting next week."

EMERGENCY Cat Summit. 
I've lined up my Chinese Lucky Good Fortune Cats and given them Motivational Lecture and an ultimatum..."Now, look, I appreciate your work in the past but just lately there seems to be a significant slacking off in terms of bringing in Fortune to the household and this upsets me. I know you have had to make adjustments in this new climate, etc...but I expect more from you. I know you can do better. As an incentive, I can guarantee that should Fortune Input increase in the next 2 weeks, then those of you who need AA batteries to keep performing the waving-hand thing, well, you will get not only new batteries, but good batteries. Now, I'm not talking 'fancy alkaline' batteries, at this stage, but Good batteries none the less. Nothing from the Reject Shop. So, get to it. Let's have another meeting next week."